Life’s a Beach


Hey girlfriend,

I am glad your trip was a big success. I assumed it would be. How can a trip down memory lane with old friends go wrong? I love this image of us. You should send me a copy or a file I can print and stash away in my ever expanding collection of stuff.

I have been in a funk since you were here. Not long after you left, a close, dear friend committed suicide and it has left me quite dazed and confused. He was a fellow artist, one I strived to be like. We lived in the same apartment building when I first moved to Seattle. His name is John Sisko and he is/was a sculptor. I documented his work from day one, own several of his works…I had just seen him. He ran a gallery that carried my work. He was in my will to be the care taker of my work should he out live me… It just all sucks. I was blindsided by this. I know it will pass in time, but it has been a hard few weeks. His family is devastated and yet they are also fighting and struggling to come to terms with it all. There are a lot of strange details. Both his aging parents are alive and have now seen the death of their second child by suicide. I am close to one of the sisters, the sibling most close to John. At some point she and I will talk and connect a few dots. But knowing why he killed himself doesn’t really change anything. I made 2 slide shows for the memorial service, if you care to see them, go to (case sensitive). The long one is the big family one, with old snap shots and such. You might enjoy it, but it is about 20 minutes long. The shorter one is about the opening of his gallery in the spring of 2007. He displayed all his works and I was the event photographer that evening. It is short, sweet and sad. But you always liked sad songs right?

Other then that I am also gimpy as of late, as is Carter. His back has gone out and is painful and my knee has gone south and I am slow to get around. I am seeing docs, maybe surgery is on the horizon. I have never had surgery, never spent any time in the hospital…i am a wimp around that stuff.

It all  makes me feel old and looking at mortality square in the face. Doing wills, talking to folks about where my work will go… Makes me think time is running out. I am sure it will pass, but at times it feels a bit overwhelming.

I had this weird thought last night. What if I just quit what I was doing. Retire as it were. Get rid of my stuff…all of it. The prints, the cameras, the computers…sell the house and move to Florida near the beach? Would I be happy doing nothing? And all I saw was a big blank nothingness… Is this what normal people do when they retire? My folks for that matter? Is growing older about playing golf or bridge or volunteering at the local hospital? Being a greeter at Walmart?

Oh, the never ending search for the meaning of life.

Make more photos…that’s what I say..

Love ya,