And Yet I Ruminate

I guess the gilding the lily thing kind gets me and plays into my psyche a bit. The feeling of being criticized for doing something well. And wondering why? It also touches on a lot of old issues about whether I was a fine artist or a commercial artist? I am both, but am I good at both or merely mediocre? And of course the big question, am I just an artsy dilettante who sold out for commercial profit? I don’t really have an answer and I don’t care really. But old insecurities can be hard to shake. I just know I enjoy what I am doing now and proud of what I have done over the course of my career. So what am I ruminating about? I don’t really know.

I hope you are spared such bullshit. That you are enjoying your new found love of photography. That you don’t grapple over whether your work is art or not. That your work is creatively satisfying and brings you joy. I would always tell my students that they should love their work, because at the end of the day you might be the only one who does. I still believe that. And that there is nothing romantic about creative angst and being a starving artist.

And yet I ruminate…