I understand feeling like a lump sometimes. I get that way too at times. Especially after a visit from a friend like you. For a few days my life is much fuller and takes me away from my caregiver life. And after you leave, there is a void that is hard to fill. I start projects too, that often languish. I try not to beat myself up over it, but it is hard at times. And when I don’t feel fully healthy, like much of this past year, it is easy to crash on the couch and watch the tele. I have no excuse for not going to the gym or taking up yoga, so I let my morning walks be my “exercise”. They do help, my thought walks. It gives the chance to clear my head and shut out the noise of modern life. And there is fresh air and changing weather and occasional chats with neighbors out walking as well. The morning walks give me a chance to ponder simple things like my word games. I miss Barney going with me. He was always such a big part of my walks. Now he just wants to walk around the yard and sleep. Another reminder of the passage of time and aging. So don’t beat yourself up too much, let your life come to you.
